WebKittyn Warbles

I am...

a pain in the ass.

stubborn as a mule.

hard to read.

overly emotional.

high maintenance and don't care.

intuitive.

sarcastic but never snarky.

a reader of people.

neurotic as all get-out.

more into my cats than people.

totally clueless where I'll be in a year.

more than a lot of people can handle.

a bit of the occasional bitch.

rabidly loyal.

often wrong.

not the easiest person to deal with or get close to.

damaged goods.

scarred, mentally and physically.

prone to laughing at weird shit.

different.

me.

Alright, so maybe eight weeks isn't exactly an era but it's a long time to be in a hospital on the floor with all the really sick and dying people far from home. Albany Medical Center was too far for my mother or Darkstar to make it up often so I spent a lot of those eight weeks alone. I learned the tips for surviving long-term and even making it not so horrid.

1. Make friends with the transport guys who bring you to dialysis/therapy/chemo, etc. When we would go down the empty hallways they'd roll that bed fast and it was actually fun.

2. Befriend the belittled workers who clean and change the sheets and deliver the food. They are the ones who do the grunt work.

3. Have an outside source to send contraband munchies or whatever you need. In my case it was blow pops, fritos, smokes, chocolates and board games.

4. Keep some sort of candy in your room and offer it to the nurses. Those blow pops were a livesaver.

5. Find out which Dr. you can bargain with. I didn't want any more Heparin shots and my Dr. wanted me to walk if I wasn't getting the shot so he begrudgingly conceded that the hike downstairs and outside to smoke a cigarette once or twice a day (which I was going to day anyway) was enough exercise to keep me off the Heparin and save the lower abdomen shots.

6. Attach to one primary Dr. and tell him all. Let the intern work the case but attach yourself to the primary. I was lucky, I had 3.

7. Don't get attached to fellow patients. Remember what floor you're on. Sometimes when they take them out of the room they don't come back.

8. Don't eat the Xanax.

9. Find out which night nurses are willing to give you a midnight sandwich or look the other way while you scoot down to the vending machine for Reece's Pieces and fritos.

10. Have someone bring your own blanket from home. Having my fuzzy pink blanket made it easier a lot of the time.

11. Remember to laugh. Look around as you're sneaking food and going for your smoke. There are people on your floor a whole lot worse off than you.

I actually have no strange tonight but I want to keep up so consider my lack of strange in itself strange and I'll come up with something tomorrow less lame.

The strangest food I've ever eaten: Bison. I didn't know it was bison until after I swallowed it and then I damn near threw it right back up. I like bison, they're cute.

The strangest man I've ever dated: Michael Siciliano, hands down.

The strangest movie I've ever seen: Night of 1000 Cats and no, I don't recommend it.

The strangest book I've ever read: The Totem by David Morrell and that I recommend. Book screwed with my head.

The strangest person I've ever known: Vinny Alleva

The strangest thing I've ever done: Put on a ginormous purple muumuu while Faith donned the green one for the sole purpose of driving around all night picking up hitchhikers and seeing the looks on their faces when they got in the car. Yes, I know. Get a life.

The strangest sex story I have: Michael falling asleep whilst receiving a hummer in a car in the middle of a golf course. Huzzah.

The strangest place I've ever been: David Berkowitz's Son of Sam Satan cave.

The strangest hobby I have: MUDding

The strangest quirk I have: I have to keep like 3-5 different beverages around me at all times. No clue why.

The strangest song I like: OK2BGAY so let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way!

The strangest gift I've ever gotten: Also the coolest, Meathe's Mendo Mulcher!

The strangest gift I've ever given: An Israeli Firearms Desert Eagle black .44 magnum cannon. Make my day.

The strangest place I want to go: Mt. Everest Base Camp, baby!

The strangest thing I want to do: Have sex in a cemetery under a full moon with a man with dark hair and eyes, dressed like a priest. 'Nuff said.

The strangest pet I ever had: A vicious mynah bird that wanted to eat everyone that came around it.

The strangest date I've ever been on: Getting picked up, him grabbing a few 6 packs and driving to the back of a department store and that was the whole plan for the date. Wrong plan, dude.

The strangest toy I have: A lovely handmade voodoo doll made from a cleansed chicken bone. Thanks, Malfouka!

The strangest thing I don't own that I want: A John Wayne Gacy Pogo painting

The strangest situation I've ever been in: Being molested at 14 by a freaken' pervert at sleepaway camp.

Huzzah! Strange!

I'm getting a pair of these for my birthday. Yes, I've taken a big gulp out of the Kool Aid.



I'm going to tone my ass, shape my legs and make my buttocks stand up and dance all by walking in these funky moon sneakers. So begins the hardcore training for the trip of all trips. Me and my pink-n-silver ass-firming sneakers!

Pressure is still up, I feel like crap but I wanted to share the wonder shoes. I shall expect a bottom half like Heidi Klum after strolling around in these things for a few months.

Watch out, buttocks. Here come the Skechers.

How to avoid 4 less than stellar nights in a row - lay low and build portals. Huzzah.

I've been in a strange mood since last night. I had a long talk with an old friend, it was a lot of catching up and hearing my friend's new attitude on life and it was a good thing. Totally away from all the drama and crap in my life. I admire the strength of this person and how they've come through the hurdles they've had to deal with over the past year or so.

Today was another high blood pressure day, we topped off at 117. Not sure what's doing it, it's not stress or any crap like that. That would be easy to deal with but it's something else going on. I need to get my ass to that new kidney doctor but I'll wait until after my birthday.

Not really sure how to put this strange mood into words. A lot of what I believe or think has been tested lately and after some questioning of my own morals and ways of seeing things, I've come to the conclusion the rest of the world is nuts. *grins* Remember that comic strip "The Family Circus" with the ghost kids who did all the bad stuff? Ida Know and Not Me and all. It's not me, it's THEM! Ha!

Another birthday coming up without my dad, it's going to suck. Darkstar is trying really hard to make it a good birthday and I'm deeply appreciative of that but it's still a birthday without my dad and it's only number two. I guess we'll go out to dinner and I've got something planned I'm not ready to share yet so who knows what kind of birthday it will be. I do miss the way I used to get excited about birthdays, I don't think I'll ever have that back. It's not the getting older, I don't care about that.

People. I've got the guards up around people lately, seems like the smart thing to do. Not everyone but for the most part the guards are up.

I've stopped reading some of the blogs I've been reading, I need to trim the blogroll. I find lately I have little patience for people who whine about being depressed all the time. Not that that's a bad thing but I'm talking about people with no physical ailments, gainfully employed, no great bad in their lives but there they are, whining about how hard it is being depressed and so on. One guy literally had me on the verge of throwing up at the pity party. I can't be around people like that anymore, it's too tempting to go off on a tirade of 'hey asshole, you want depressed? Try staring down the eyes of waiting on the donor list' and that sucks, that leads to pity. I'm done with the self pity. May piss a few people off in the process but screw it, the tried and true will stick around.

'Time for a Cool Change' isn't just a song name, it's not just the name of this blog. It's survival. It's the only way I'm going to get through all of this crap even if it means a return to dialysis if I decide to go. That's a whole set of posts for the kidney category and another night. I need to change a lot of crap in my life, I need to trim the fat off a lot of crap in my life, streamline my priorities and finish that damn clan hall! Ha!

Here I am again, full of plans and great ideas and talk but will I ever put any of it to life? That's the question.

I do want to thank Jen and Faith and Darkstar for some awesome conversing yesterday/last night. It was one of those rare days and nights where I actually felt like talking on the phone, which in itself for me is strange.

Yah, this was all just a whole lot of pointless blather. Welcome back, Warbles.