WebKittyn Warbles

I declare today an official blehhhhhhhhhhhh day.

I've been in a serious funk for the past few days. It's gotten to the point where people are asking me what's up and if I'm alright so I guess it's pretty obvious. Not what I wanted, my goal is not to spread my funk to the people around me.

Kinda sucks, there's a giant list of things I should be doing sitting here peering at me but I don't have the will or want to do any of them. So I sit here and semi-mope and watch the news, read odd websites and play mah jong or text twist. Woo.

I know what part of it is, a big part of it is the Gotard and his tendency to blame the rest of the world for his flaws and fallbacks. I guess after 21 years of being the scapegoat for everything from the plague to his fat ass it's finally gotten to me. Ruin yourself, ruin your future with your pity party, throw it all away on horseshit, do what you want. Just stop taking me down with you.

Part of it is the approaching holidays. Last year was a bountiful year, last year I spent wayyyyy too much on gifts and I loved it, it really made me smile. This year I'm a fucken peasant, everyone gets a Pez dispenser this year. Pisses me off, I know the people I'm talking about won't care but I do. I'm still not used to not having money there when I want it.

Part of it is the server pressure. I know I should have had the damn thing moved by now but my head is just too far rooted up my ass. I don't have that calm and in control state of mind I need to make this happen so it hangs in my mind like a nagging fairy. A little server sitting on my shoulder whispering "change me" over and over.

Part of it is the weather and the onset of the winter long cold that comes with living in an old and drafty house on top of a hill with nothing but river breeze. Woke up real sneezy today and I know my mood gets bleh when sick so I'm assuming a big chunk of bleh is that.

Part of it is my strange sleep schedule or non-sleep schedule. Going to sleep after 6 and waking up anywhere between 8 and 9 and then catching an hour or two in the afternoon is getting to me.

There's a lot of parts to it, some not posted here. They all add up to a big ole blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

For now, it's cold and raining and really prime sleeping weather. I think I'm going to grab Claude (cats - nature's animate hot water bottle) and go crash while watching the park. I know Gotard has some dayquil around here somewhere.

Bleh.