Monday, January 10, 2005

Hello Goodbye Once More No More

Trust me.... To some, these would be words worth fighting and dying for. We are, after all, merely the product of our words and actions, are we not? Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

Trust is given, too often. Every time the words are spoken with sincere apologies and uttered proclamations of shame and sorrow. Trust me. I'm sorry. Trust me.

Blind faith leads the blind, the blind who willingly and with a sense of naive idolatry continue to believe. Who time after time believe the uttered words of the silver tongued deceivers only to find themselves once again standing wounded and betrayed. Trust me. Believe in me.

How pretty the man on the stage, how true his performance and how clear his eyes as he looks into yours and spins his weave of deceptions. Trust me. Believe in me. Trust me. Follow me. Understand me. Trust me.

Trust me. Believe me. For the words I speak are the words you need to hear for the moment. I shall with masterful skill profess my want and truth, sing of change and things to come and even claim to need you. And you, you shall be deceived once more. You shall trust me.

I am charlatan, I am deceiver, I am he who has a rare trait - I am a man who holds no value on my word. I know how deep I cut you, it is I who applies the salve, the words you need to hear right then, like a puppy hungry for its dinner. I have no concern for you, I hold you in no esteem, I value what I can use of yours at the moment and for that I will bestow upon you the illusion of importance. Look in my eyes, you see my sincerity. Trust me. Believe me. Trust me.

Word? Words mean nothing, words are things spoken across a desk or after everyone has gone to bed on Christmas. They are props in my scene, they do what I ask them and serve the purpose I intend for them. They have no meaning and they hold no ties on me. I spoke them, I can unspeak them later, after you have hung up. After you trust me. After you believe me.

Hurt? Don't cry me your hurt, why are you so emotional? I have no time or concern for your petty feelings and your wounded psyche. You gave willingly, you agreed and you conceded. You gave your trust on your own, you offered your belief on your own. There are no guarantees, are there. Your hurt means nothing to me, save it for someone with a soul. I feed off your despair you silly girl, I grow stronger with every gullible action you take and every ounce of faith you fill me with. Talk not to me of your hurt, I have no capacity to care. Trust me. Believe me. Help me.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. You and your kind, look at the world you've created, look at the idols you worship, look at what you hold sacred. You are never to be an equal, never to b e honoured, never to be taken seriously, ever to be more than fodder. I need you but there are always more like you, the female of the species is so easily taken with a few kind words.

It's about time you realised you meant nothing. It's about time you caught on to the depth of my words and the truth in my actions. It's about time you saw what you have given your faith and your trust to for so long. Now I can sit, now I can laugh at your tears and your pain and your sadness. Now I can feed.

Trust me. Believe me. Help me. Feed me.