WebKittyn Warbles
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Life as a Professional Milk Curdler or Hey, Now There’s a Unique Party Trick
**Warning. The following warble is a few things. It is disgusting, it is in poor taste and it's slightly twisted humour. It's how I deal with what I go through every day and so it goes on here. If you're easily repulsed, can't handle sick wit or a normal human being who doesn't find anything funny about barfing, it's okay to skip this one.**
I have discovered the ultimate party trick. I can guarantee you you won't see this one at your company Christmas party.
I woke up today and I knew it was going to be a bad one. Woke up the first time at 10:30 for the normal morning puke and slept for another hour. Woke up again feeling horrid, nauseous and really out of sorts. Took care of my dad's lunch without getting sick again so it was okay. I'm used to feeling so nauseous I can't stand. This was still kind of different though.
I drank a coffee mug of 2% milk to settle the nausea, I usually have good luck with milk.
Not this time.
Within twenty minutes tops of drinking the milk I started spewing. Spew Kittyn, spew. Except it wasn't liquid or the other mysterious frothy stuff we've determined are the toxins my kidneys aren't taking care of. Nope, not here. I got to throw up what I can only describe as curdled milk.
Look, kids! She drinks a cup of milk and hocus pocus - you get COTTAGE CHEESE.
It was white and lumpy and to date the most disgusting stuff to ever come out of any part of my body. I then proceeded to throw up some more because I was so freaken' grossed out by the previous throwing up.
I guess whatever acids are in my stomach did it to the milk but it was fast. And really really really gross. Yet here I sit snickering like a mentally deficient moron telling the world I have a new talent.
How many people can lay claim to being a professional milk curdler?
Huzzah.
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Next step: get it kosher certified and sell, sell, SELL!
on 12/23 at 06:41 PM -
It made me chuckle out loud.
monogodo on 12/23 at 07:02 PM -
Hmm… i USED to enjoy cottage cheese.
Helicon on 12/27 at 11:16 PM -
I woke up today and I knew it was going to be a bad one. Woke up the first time at 10:30 for the normal morning puke and slept for another hour. Woke up again feeling horrid, nauseous and really out of sorts. Took care of my dad’s lunch without getting sick again so it was okay. I’m used to feeling so nauseous I can’t stand. This was still kind of different though.
Computer vision technology on 01/21 at 05:40 AM
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