WebKittyn Warbles

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Mating Season!

Mating season has once again arrived. Goddess help you if you walk outside in something short or low cut, the wolves will be on you before you can say "huzzah." Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, we all like to be considered attractive and I have always said the day the construction workers stop whistling is the day I pack it in.

Mating season is amusing for the non-mating, I really think it's a chemical thing in the air they just haven't discovered yet. Strange things happen during mating season, I blame it all on the air.

Yesterday was a purrfect example. It was a good day, it was one of those days when old friends manage to surprise you and surprise you GOOD and newer friends come to you with offbeat questions that lead to long conversations.

A friend came to me yesterday to ask me if it was a bad thing if he preferred masturbating to online people over making love w/ his girlfriend (Yes, this is the Sex warble, go now if you can't handle it and yes, conversation cleared for warbling as long as names are left out). First I scratched my head and said 'oh my' but we got to talking.

He went on to tell me he had no desire to actually meet the women he was doing this with, it was all about the fantasy and a fantasy world he didn't have with his gf. He has a kinky streak he's uncomfortable talking to her about and online he can let it go. Of course he feels guilty, hence the coming to me (like I'm some sexpert...).

Yes, I think there is a problem. Not with him, not with her, the problem is with the relationship. I'm not going to get into the whole debate if online sex is cheating or not, to me I think it would be but that's just me. The problem is a lack of communication and the ability to communicate.

There's nothing wrong with masturbation and as sexist as this sounds, it's definitely something most males can't go a day without (I said most, all of you reading this with mock horror can relax) and I get that. Nor do I see anything wrong with the fantasy aspect of online. Not everyone has the opportunity to get with someone so I totally understand the online fantasy part of it. I've even heard in great depth some fantasy stuff that involved me and while I can't say for sure what was going on on the other end, I'd be pretty safe venturing a guess. Ok, guys are horny 24/7, I get it.

Oh yes, I am rolling in the generalities! My warble, I can do that. *grins*

My problem with it, as I told him, is the hiding things. Here are two people who claim to be in love, who trust each other enough to have sex and be intimate, who have talked of spending their lives together but can't be open about their sexuality. I don't get that. People are so intimidated by sex, so afraid to be open. How do you claim you've given your heart to someone if you can't even tell them what excites you?

Keeping secrets in a relationship like that can't have a happy ending, it can't go anyplace good. We all have secrets and that's fine, no one needs to know everything about a person. But. But but but. When the secrets amount to keeping a large part of yourself away from the other person, that's not what a relationship is about.

So we talked and debated and I promised to put the thoughts together here and cross my paws for him.

Then last night, a friend of mine I've known for a pretty long time did something that totally blew me into left field. No, there was no online sex, get the mind out of the gutter. Just something that was 110% not the thing I would ever have expected. All in a good way, I love it when a person I thought I knew pretty well can utterly shock me by being so different than what I knew yet still the same person.

Surprises like this are rare gifts, I can't think of anything more dull than a world full of people with no surprises left in
them.

So all in all, as mating season 2005 begins to intensify I shall keep the world updated with my semi-convoluted views on mating and all that goes with it.

Mate on!

Warbled by WebKittyn at 08:37 am in

• Sex

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