Sunday, March 27, 2011

Oscopy Time for Bonzo (optional reading on FB, blog post)

I haven't really talked about this because quite frankly it scares the crap out of me. Bad choice of words, It scares the bejesus out of me.

After much much much delay, I finally faced my fears and went to the gastroenterologist. Two and a half years of nearly daily multiple throwing up sessions finally wore me down and I made that stupid promise to myself that this was the time I started doing everything I've been too chickenshit to confront.

I really thought it would be an easy visit where he would confrm the barfing is kidney-related and we'd move on. HA.

He couldn't be sure from an office visit but he said he was pretty sure it wasn't entirely kidney as it's not steady barfing. I can go a week with nothing and then it starts again and there's no relation to whether I eat or not. It could be kidney but he wasn't sure.

His solution? The dreaded due of scopies. Both to be performed at the same time as putting me under with malignant hypertension and stage 4 kidney failure is risky so he'd prefer to do them both at once.

I'll refrain the many bad taste jokes I've been making to Darkstar about having a camera up my ass and down my gut at the same time, sometimes it's funny but mostly it scares me to the point of breaking down like a little girl.

Let's discuss the prep for the colonoscopy. 4 Ducolax pills (not the best for kidneys) an and ENTIRE 8.5 ounce bottle of Miralax (also not recommended for kidney patients) mixed into 64 ounces of liquid to be drunk (drank?) over a 2 hour period. Liquid diet the day before as I drink this swill.

I'll be totally out during the double procedure but if you're familiar with my history you recall I have an ungodly resistance to anesthesia and have woken up in the middle of getting wisdom teeth pulled and in Albany when they were changing my chest catheter ("Heather, we gave you enough anesthesia to put out a horse...") and the thought that I might wake up with foreign objects in me would spike the malignant hypertension right back into another seizure set. So yah, I'm fucken scared.

Darkstar is coming up, at least I'll have my best friend willing to sit up with me the whole night before as I know I'm going to be a crying, hysterical terrified mess.

This is all happening next Wednesday, April 6th. I can't stop dwelling on it and I go between sick disgusting jokes and cowering in fear.

It's going to be a rough week for me. Hopefully those close to me will show a little extra compassion and understanding. I know it's a routine procedure but doing them both at once is not routine and when you have malignant hypertension and stage 4 kidney failure there is no such thing as a routine procedure involving anesthesia.

This is really going to suck and I admit it, I am officially traumatised already.

But I'm doing it, I made that goddamn promise and I'm going to keep it.

1. I’ll be thinking of you, Heather, and hope it goes well.

    on  03/27  at  05:25 PM

2. Ugh.  I’m really sorry.  Not going to say don’t worry.  I’d worry.  I worried when it was a brain MRI, and no one was being invasive. 
   Okay, really, I don’t know what to say.  Wish I lived closer & could help somehow. 
   I’ll be sending good thoughts your way, though.  fwiw

    on  03/28  at  03:21 PM

3. You’re in my thoughts and prayers hon!  *HUGS*

   Nicki  on  04/04  at  11:23 AM

4. Hey you. I know I’m not around in any of the old haunts these days, but you and the station gang are in my thoughts. I’ll keep you in my prayers for this one too. Keep hanging in there WK!

    on  04/09  at  06:11 PM

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