WebKittyn Warbles
Friday, November 04, 2005
State of the Mind
I haven't done one of these too-long self reflective posts that go on forever and chase readers away in a while.
Be warned. This is one of those self indulgent too-long self reflective warbles that goes on forever and chases readers away.
NaNoWriMo is not flowing. The mojo, she does not floflo. I'm not giving up, especially not after Utopia got her bullhorn out for inspiration and cheers. I just have to sit and actually write.
As for the state of the mind, the past week I'd have to say detached is the only word that fits and that's not really good. Detached from my friends, the mud, BoRCom - just detached.
(more inside, I'm not filling up the main page with tripe. Yah, I know. Since when. Read at your own will.) October was a strange month. Not that I was expecting anything different for the start of Fall but it was definitely a month of manic ups and lows. Not all bad, this is not a whine-warble. I'm just so friggin' far behind in my thought organising and it screws everything else up.
Starting October with 2 solid weeks of flu did not help me. I got behind on everything that needed doing, it was just impossible to move with this flu. Then when it finally went away there was this mountain of 'to do' crap staring at me. I guess that's to be expected but Jeez, Louise.
As for the people who are so important to my life, October was a month of cleaning house. This is probably where the detached comes from, I've definitely got the shields up and the guards are out patrolling the grounds. There was good and bad like there always is but the bad was pretty bad.
Lost two staff members off the mud. I always take that in a deeply personal way, no way around that. I know that has a lot to do with the detached feeling but it's not all of it. I'll save that for a friend warble.
There was one bright spot. I think the struggling Magus has finally got his shit together. A bit of doubt after the past few days but overall, I think he actually made a breakthrough.
Me, I sit here at night and even with all the people mulling about I still feel isolated. Again, it's not really a bad thing but it's not what I'm used to.
I'm not making any fucken sense, kill this twaddle Kittyn.
More to come.
<-- Steal me!
