WebKittyn Warbles
Friday, February 09, 2007
The First 24 Hours Come and Go - The First Milestone
I am now into my second day as a non-smoker.
I don't want to put a whammy on the good juju so I'll just say today wasn't at all what I expected.
I don't know if it's the patch, the candle thing I did for Imbolc, the Lady Fate deciding to cut me a break for a change, some inner strength I forgot I had or whatever - today was not the day of misery I expected. Doesn't mean tomorrow won't be Hell but going with the day by day way of thought, today wasn't so bad. I can do it if they're all like today.
I've come up with a new mantra for all of this - Everest is mine in 2009.
I'm learning things about myself already that will find their way to this place but for now, for my first 24 hours, I have something else I want to share.
One of the warnings about the patch is the chance of 'vivid dreams' if worn at night. I had a 'vivid' dream last night, it was wonderful, weird and definitely vivid.
I dream often, I have one creepy recurring dream I've had for years and I dream often. I remember bits and pieces of all of them, only the recurring one usually stays with me. My dream recollections are vague, never vivid. This was vivid.
I was looking for an apartment, going around to different places. I went to a small building (3 floors) with an extremely wide tree in the front. I was looking at a 2 bedroom with the landlady and she was willing to give it to me for $900 but she had another offer. She was going to hollow out the tree in front and if I wanted to live inside the tree I could have it for $405 a month.
I moved into the 2 bedroom. My neighbours to the right were a trio of Japanese hookers, they were beautiful girls and very nice and guarded by a dude who looked just like Goro from Mortal Kombat. To the left of me lived the Moody Blues. All of them, the whole band lived there together.
Somewhere along the way the character Meldrick Lewis from 'Homicide, Life on the Street' had come into my life. We were standing in the middle of the street and we were hugging. I had his face in my hands talking about this amazing connection I was feeling. The Moody Blues walked by, I greeted them with 'hello, fine gentlemen.'
Someone had moved into the tree, when Det. Lewis and I were going back to my apartment two guys were loading a 42 inch plasma into the tree. We went back up and the hookers were having a BBQ in the hall.
It was vivid, I remember every little detail and bit of the weirdness and it was an awesome dream.
The ashtray is on the table, I haven't wanted to move it. The 4 cigarettes left in the open pack are right here next to the monitor and the last unopened pack is right there on the floor. I left them there to tempt and torment me but they're not bothering me at all. For now.
I do feel empowered after a first day like today. I keep repeating the mantra and the sentence 'Heatherlyn, this is the first full day in 23 or 24 years that you did not smoke a cigarette,' waiting for it to sink into my thick skull.
I'm not cocky, I fully expect to have many weak moments but I'm going to ride the strong ones as hard as I can when I get them.
10 weeks of dreams like that could almost make it all fun.
Everest is mine in 2009.
Hello, day two. Let's dance.
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You have one more supporter here. Keep up the fight!
on 02/09 at 03:11 AM -
I’m prod of you - and you should be too! And those dreams do sound funky, I love dreams like that just for their clarity.
on 02/09 at 07:49 AM -
Congratulations! I am so proud of you. That is indeed one vivid dream. I personally would have lived in the tree.
on 02/09 at 10:05 AM -
Way to go kittyn, off to a great start so keep up the good work.
on 02/09 at 02:33 PM
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