WebKittyn Warbles
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Merrill Lynch Booze Cruise
I don't really like talking much about myself in terms of reminiscing. I'm not that interesting. But when someone asks and they seem like they're really interested in the answer and not just looking interested by asking a question, I answer. So while this may seem like me just re-living the past, it's not. The past was a shitload of fun but I wouldn't go back.
I will put it behind a cut though so I don't take up a page.
Behold - the infamous Merrill Lynch booze cruise and what happened on the golf course. Warning, there is sexual content of the mildly graphic sort.
I worked a brief stint for Merrill Lynch Relocation Services. This is the part of the company that handles all the relocations across the country for employees. It was a job I was underqualified for and I only lasted 8 months before I walked out on a Friday and decided not to go back on Monday.
One thing for them, they did a lot of stuff for their employees. There was always some contest (for the agents, I wasn't an agent. I was a 'junior accountant.' Feh) or event set up for the employees and sometimes they were pretty good.
They came up with a booze cruise idea. A night cruise leaving from City Island and going about 4 hours with an open bar and food. Single employees were allowed to bring a date so I brought Michael (who had a gorgeous full head of Robert Chambers hair back then) who, much to my surprise, decided to grace my presence with his company.
With total disregard to the breeze on the water or the time of year (May) I decide to wear this white mini-dress I stole from Faith Anne. Came halfway down to the knees and it buttoned down to the waist in the front. This was my favourite piece of clothing and I only wore it on special nights. With the white dress went a red belt and 5 inch red spikes. Yes, to go on a night cruise. I did not think.
It was cold, it was windy, it was the most incredible experience. We guzzled beers and sucked on chicken wings and finger food and sat huddled together watching the scenery and the lights on the water and talking to people wandering by. Every time I stood up I showed way too much leg and I didn't give a fat rat's ass. It was one night where I fully had Michael's attention. His asshat friends weren't there, he wasn't drunk to the point of slobbering yet and there was that rare night of genuine emotion and affection. And a whole lotta beer.
By the time the ship docked at midnight I had given up on the shoes and Michael had one in his mouth by the heel. We were one of the last ones off the boat and stopped on the way back to the car to hug, kiss, grope a bit and look at the water. At that point in my life I was as close to Heaven as I've ever been.
It was early, we decided to meet up with everyone at the bar. We staggered in and the usual suspects were all there. We sat down and right away they started with the buzz bombs. Buzz bombs were some special mix they made at Pat's (the bar), it tasted like fruit punch with no alcohol but after a pitcher or two when you stood up, holy shit. Of course on top of this I'm doing shots of jagermeister and wild turkey and Michael is doing tequila after tequila. My dress was open a few buttons too far, I was way too plotzed to notice.
I went outside to hit the pipe with someone else and Michael came out, something he rarely did without the rest of the butthead crew. For him to get up and go after me while they all stayed in there doing shots meant one thing - Michael was drunk. Michael was going to tell me he loved me, we'd mess around and he wouldn't remember any of it the next day. Works for me.
Somehow we ended up in the middle of the golf course in his car. I don't remember how the hell he navigated that corolla into the middle of the golf course but there we were.
Soft music playing, I believe it was Mode or Erasure. He was blathering on about what a great night it was and how special I was and why didn't he see this sooner. He loved me. He wanted me. Thanked me for bringing him and lots more professing his amor and calling himself a dick for not being less of a dick. Of course it all worked like a charm and I melted.
We started kissing and groping. He had this habit of just ripping through my panty-hose instead of taking them off which I always got a rush out of. The already too-low white dress was now open down to my waist and he was doing that ear/neck suck/lick voodoo he did so well. The combination of alcohol, the golf course, the whole magic of the night and Michael had gotten to me and I started to give him a blowjob (I contemplated using 'oral sex' but that sounds so clinical. Blowjob. Head. Smoking the baloney pony. Tonsil hockey). What the Hell, let's even go for hummer here, it's one of those nights.
He kept going on about how much he loved me for a bit and then he went quiet and I thought it was my skills as a sucker of dick sending him into throes of ecstasy. Hum on, McDuff, hum on. I looked up at him to see all this in his eyes but it wasn't there.
Nothing was there.
Michael was sleeping. I could have hummed all of Carmen with his penis in my mouth and he wouldn't have been aware of any of it.
In that moment with a sleeping man's cock in my mouth I found this the most intensely funny thing I had ever experienced. It was so amazingly fucked up and so ......... Michael. I sat up still laughing and let him wake up with his wee willy wang hanging out as the sun came up over the golf course.
He woke up, took care of exposed parts and I just told him 'ask me tomorrow.' He took me back to my car and instead I went to the diner to grab coffee and a muffin. I walked in there with ripped hose, a dress that looked like it had been through a hurricane and we won't even get into the hair and makeup. The diner guy laughed at me, sat me down by the tank so I could have my usual conversations with the lobsters and I stayed there till I sobered up enough to drive home, still laughing. I was eagerly awaiting the next day and filling him in on this.
Eventually the rest of the idiots found out. It was worth the embarrassment of them knowing I was sucking him off in the golf course for the fodder it gave them that he fell asleep.
/end embarrassing story.
-
That is a funny story, but of course not all of it is humor. I am reminded in some ways of more than a few incidents in my past. Which fills me with very mixed emotions. But it was worth it, to get to glean a little deeper insight in to the blogger known as WebKittyn.
Also, I can feel better about myself, knowing that no matter how many stupid things I’ve done.... I’ve never taken a nap during a blow job!
jeckles on 05/24 at 02:48 PM -
Just remember this story says more about his shortcomings than anything else.
Never could handle his booze and obviously a narcisistic person to fall asleep.
I would think that the “stimulation” would be enough to keep anyone awake.I’m not saying he has a small unit, just a small mind.
The Bear on 04/22 at 09:15 PM
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