Thursday, February 16, 2006

What the Fuck….

Unfuckenreal. What the fuck, did I do something to re-activate the gypsy curse of a past life or something? Cut me some slack here, please.

I can't post this without sounding like I'm looking for pity. I'm not looking for pity, I'm just fucken fed up wih being given shit from the Lady Fate and my sanity is wavering.

My mother just called, she had taken the day off to take my father to the doctor. The flu he had last month was a bad one and the Cipro didn't mix well with his regular dose of daily meds. She calls to tell me "your father's in the ER, they're keeping him in the hospital overnight." Huh? His feet were badly swelled and he had a low oxygen level (all other tests were good; no blood clots in the leg, the pacemaker is fine, the diabetes is under control, blah fucken blah) so they were shooting him up with Lasix to get all the water out and monitor him overnight. He'll be going home tomorrow.

My mother sounded calm, she sounded alright so I'm alright. I mean I'm not alright, I'm worried to shit but if there was anything real to worry about my mother would not have been calm on the phone.

I'm fucken beat down, I haven't slept for more than three straight hours in a week. There are limits to the amount of shit I can have piled on my head before I snap and either go Falling Down on the world or the Gotard comes home and finds me curled up on the floor, drooling and unable to speak and rolling around in my own feces. Efuckenough already.

I'm going to go smudge sage on every fucken corner in this house and light some candles and chant.

I'm sure he'll be fine and it's good for him to get all the retained water out but shit, ya know? I'm down here, I'm not there..

This sucks.

I turned comments off for this. I'm not writing this to get people to feel sorry for me and people tend to walk softly or act strangely around someone who's fucked in the head and I don't want that. I just need to write this shit out, it's either that or my head spins and I puke pea soup on the shitten.

Get the fuck out of the hospital, Chuck.