Sunday, April 01, 2007

What Was I, Nuts?

I did not smoke a cigarette. Still have the unopened pack here but I didn't smoke any.

I didn't want to, I didn't need to.

I've been trashed for being up front and not playing the divatude behind the scenes crap. Hit me today that I welcome that sort of trashing, it's good for the spirit. Some folks just can't exist in the world without pretending life is an episode of General Hospital. I'm going to smoke over that? Hullo. These people aren't real, anymore than the Moody Blues were my neighbours and I was dating Det. Meldrick Lewis.

I was given a tremendous gift with the cleansing. I was given a gift and a huge new opportunity and glorious glowing plans for the future.

For the drama-mamas who may read this and think it's all about the station I say expand your silly little minds beyond the computer. Please try. The station is a tiny speck in a big life. You know, real relationships and interactions with people you can actually see/touch/hop in the car and see? Go away, go back to your diva-dens. Shoo. You mattered for a few short months but that's over now so thank you, drive thru.

Easter is next weekend. I'm not religious but I love the bunnies and eggs and pretty clothes and the joy you see in the eyes of the kids hunting eggs. I used to have an egg hunt every year, my dad would hide them in the house and the yard. Who wants to do drama while all of this is around to be seen. The small pleasures.

Almost my ninth week without a smoke. For a first time attempt I'm pretty impressed with myself. Not bragging, I should have done it years ago, just proud. I'm allowed to be proud of something I've done without getting full of myself.

My three month escape upstate is coming to an end next week and as sad as it makes me there is excitement as well. New windows and new blinds to start Spring Cleaning can get the excitement levels up. Washing the walls and getting all the nasty cigarette-related discolouration off of them knowing it will NEVER happen again is exciting. Re-opening the pink room and having a bedroom again and a guest room that's a GUEST room is exciting. Going and getting The Great Catsby is exciting, a new cat is always good juju. Walks and park people and getting in my car to go for a long ride with the new stereo and speakers and no destination. The approaching Summer in Woodstock and the craft/jewelry shows. Going to see Talkradio on Broadway is exciting. New upstairs neighbours to meet and BBQ with. Park people and the weekly free movies at the park on the water looking out on this is exciting. Finally being rid of lingering baggage and clutter in the house and my life is exciting.

Starting a hardcore fitness regimen is exciting. Untoned out of shape people do NOT make it to Everest, they can't even make it to Base Camp. My Everest fund is growing, now it's time for hardcore toning and shaping up. That's exciting.

I'll spend my usual day or two in bed catching up from three months of interrupted slumber on a couch and then it will all start. It's exciting! Then I'll come back up here in mid-June for the Summer festivities. One thing about central New York, they have a ton of festivities from country fairs to airplane shows to sales all over the place to random concerts in Woodstock and at Bard College to *gasp* a BAR opening in Red Hick.

I've always believe there is no such thing as coincidence and it's times like these when I really believe that. Things are as they are because of how they were and how they are is so very much better than how they were.

I am so glad I did not smoke a cigarette last night and many thanks to those of you who cheered me on.

1. Way to go, Kittyn - I knew you wouldn’t cave!

    on  04/01  at  06:38 AM

2. way to keep up the will power kittyn.

    on  04/01  at  07:56 AM

3. I came to your blog via the April Blog Exchange...and I’m compelled to pop in on this--I don’t know what on earth you are referring to in the previous posts (wrt Drama Mamas et.al.) but from what I’ve gathered in reading your blog are a couple of things we have in common.

   A long, love-hate relationship with the evil weed! I smoked for over twenty years myself, before I quit--and it took watching my mother dying of lung cancer to get me to put out my last butt.  I don’t know how I survived the first few weeks of not smoking, but I did--and so have you!  *Cheers Loudly* It gets easier--it truly, honestly does.  It was over a year before I could confidently say that I’ll never be a ‘smoker’ again.  In the beginning, I felt like I gave my best friend the boot and I mourned the loss--but I knew that smoking was never truly my friend...and it so got easier!  It really truly does!  I would dream about smoking, and I treasured the dreams, as it was the only time I would ‘allow myself’ to smoke!

   As to Drama-mamas on the internet?  Oh, honey, we could talk, I am sure.  I was once involved in an on-line community chock-full of drama mamas and bullshit.  Sounds like you’ve separated the wheat from the chaffe, as it were, and hooray!!  You’ll be so friggin’ glad I can’t tell you!!

   OK, now I’m going to peruse a little more of your blog--which I am enjoying immensely!!

   Best,
   Peg

   Peg  on  04/01  at  08:26 PM
Page 1 of 1 pages

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Smileys

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?