Thursday, October 06, 2005

Whooping Cough, The Flu and Life Lessons

Ah yes, the trials and tribulations of being sick, really sick.

Before I go off on my long dull warble, I want to say something. I don't warble here for other people. I don't do this hoping to be read, I don't do this to get attention, I don't do this for anyone else. I warble for myself. I do this for me so I can keep up my life-long history of keeping a journal. I do this for my own sanity. I work stuff out as it comes out here, I don't plan it in advance and many times I've sat down to warble feeling frustrated or negative over something and when I'm done, somehow I feel better. Often I come here and warble before I talk to anyone and I make no apologies for this. This is not a place where "I have to find out what you're up to with everyone else" or other things I've heard recently. This is an extension of me talking to ME and I will not feel bad for that or deal with people who want to try and make me feel bad for it. Because I choose to journal online (about most stuff) and not in a written book where it wouldn't even be an issue is just the way it is. I do this for me, not the entertainment of others.

That said, on to the sick. I would say I'm about 70% recovered but still not all the way. The chronic bronchitis slows anything in the chest and this is one badass bug. Long sick story inside. Gotard doesn't get sick. He has a strong immune system and rarely gets sick. Maybe once a year he gets something that keeps him down for a day or two but in the 22 years I've known him, he's only been really really sick twice. I on the other hand am the complete opposite. After smoking for 20 years with chronic bronchitis and only recently deciding to cut down/quit, the shitty diet I have, the lack of exercise - I get sick. Not a whole lot, I'm not one of those pathetic little whiners who's dying every week but I catch stuff easy. What was it, July I think when I had that last bout of bronchitis.

Last Tuesday he was coughing a bit more than usual and had been amazingly unpleasant/nasty for his two days off. It was an ugly two days here, lots of sniping and nasty things said. As he was going to bed Tuesday night his last words were "I hope I'm not getting sick" to which I replied "would explain your fucken disposition." He made it to work on Wednesday and ended up getting caught up in some crap at work and staying late, making it a full 12 hour day. He came home uber-nasty and coughing like a TB patient. He had the common sense to call out of work Thursday and emerged from his tomb-room Thursday afternoon looking like an extra from Shaun of the Dead, coughing like the devil and all around nasty and bad. Lovely, this means I'm next. Not because there's anything physical with him and I, there is n o t. We do share a bathroom though and were watching tv in the living room so I knew it was just a matter of time. Against better judgment he went back to work Friday and was scheduled to work an expo on Saturday.

These expos are in hot, non-ventilated places (this one was SUNY Purchase) and tend to run long. I told him he was nuts doing it but he went. Meanwhile on my side of the fence, Friday I woke up feeling yucked out. Uh-oh, here it is, say hello Gracie. Spent the day in bed hoping it would go away. HA!

Saturday I woke up feeling like crap. Big crap. Huge crap. Couldn't breathe, one second I was freezing with chills that shook my whole body and in a flash I was sweating, legs felt like tree trunks, coughing, all around walking dead. Of course he had the car and was doing the expo till 10:00 so it was going to be 11 or so before I saw and nyquil or anything. He came home with OTC drugs and his own sickness and attitude. We sniped at each other all night and that was Saturday. Same stuff Sunday except I was getting worse. I was taking 5000 mg of vitamin C hoping it would do the trick, Dayquil and Nyquil all and nothing was helping.

Gotard came home and it turned into a really bad night. Sickness makes people say horrid hateful things and we were both pretty guilty of it. 22 years means you know how to push exactly the right buttons and there was a whole lot of fever-induced button pushing going on. It went on into Sunday night and continued Monday when he woke up and emerged. Sunday into Monday was a day of eight puke sessions, the last two were more coughing up lung than anything else and I was just so bad I didn't even try to make it to the bathroom, viva la barf bucket.

By Monday I could hardly walk from one room to the other. Walking to the bathroom felt like a 20 mile marathon that left me gasping like Darth Vader and feeling like my legs were going to give out. It got so hateful he stormed out of the living room and I was glad to see him go. I had just barely made it to the bathroom to throw up again and it was the single most painful pukage of my lifetime. I've thrown up a lot between sickness and drinking too much in my life, I don't get freaked by puking but this was like nothing I've ever felt. Felt like my legs were going on me and I was throwing up my insides. I staggered out of the bathroom and as much as it killed me to do it, it was either call him for help or collapse on the kitchen floor and die there.

To his credit, he came right out and with no attitude at all helped me to the living room where I collapsed on the makeshift bed. I was shaking, crying, in intense pain and really having a hard time breathing. It was also a breakthrough point with him, we both sort of lost the attitude at the same time and spent the rest of the night talking calmly. We both acknowledged it was the sickness causing all the hate and late into the night we even came into a few breakthroughs I won't go into because they're his about his life and not for me to post on.

Tuesday was spent not moving much from the living room. Lots of conversation and some television and cat watching but nothing else. He was getting better, he was well enough to go to the store for a few necessities. I hadn't eaten anything since early Saturday and my stomach was really coming at me for taking all the vitamin C, dayquil and nyquil with no food. I was able to keep down a whopping 3 matzoh balls in broth, gave the kitten most of the broth.

I don't have health coverage. It's a huge setback in this Bohemian life I've taken up but it's really never been a problem, I've always been able to cover what was needed. Not this time. I also did not have the strength to get up and go anywhere, I just wanted to lay there, cry and die. Gotard however, does have benefits. I was half kidding around 9 Tuesday night when I said he should go to the ER and get an inhaler. It was getting really bad, I couldn't walk from room A to room B and that's scary shit. I had this knot of crap in my chest that felt like it was getting bigger and I really was having problems breathing. To my shock, he said fine. Who is this gotard so easily offering to do something kind?

As with all ER trips, he finally called around 11:40 to say he was at the Walgreens getting the scrip filled for the much needed inhaler and some sort of pill. Ahhh, there is relief in sight. Albuterol (sp) and some pill I hadn't heard of. I grew up on erythromycin for my bronchitis, I was hoping that's what he would get but he said it was something with a Z. We had the same thing so I figured it would be fine.

Then he tells me they checked him for whooping cough. In 2005! I haven't heard talk of whooping cough since I was a child! Luckily he was cleared for whooping cough and his chest x-ray was clean but the doctor told him there was a nasty flu going around and he had it. We hung up and I called my mother to update her and lo and behold! She tells me a cousin of mine in Atlanta (a very well off, middle aged professional woman) had been sick with whooping cough and flat on her ass in bed for 10 days. Apparently it's going around all over. Whooping cough. What the Hell.

He came back and I sucked that inhaler faster than I've every sucked anything (or anyone - hey, I'm sick I'm not dead, I still have wit) in my life. It was like an immediate release, I felt the knot in my chest loosening up and I was able to breathe slightly normal for the first time. Ahhhhhh. Took a look at the pills and was surprised to see only 6. 6. 6 pills, take 2 the first day and one for the next 4 days, can take up to 10 days to heal. Zithromax, which is in fact a mycin. I guess this is some souped up dose, I remember taking pills for days with bronchitis.

Almost dropped dead when I saw $67.00 for 6 pills (his insurance cut that, he didn't pay that). SIX pills!! You hear about how bad it is for people without health benefits but that really hit me, made me think. What do people without coverage do? If I had had to, I could have come up with it from being billed but that's crazy.. SIX pills!

I didn't want to start the pills that night, I hadn't been able to eat and my stomach was really bad. The inhaler had cleared my chest a bit and thank the Fates, I was HUNGRY. Managed to eat a small ham and cheese sammich and some fresh fruit and the stomach pain instantly went away. Gotard listened to the voice of reason and decided to take one more day off Wednesday to make sure the cough was clearing up for him, he's got studio time booked next week.

Woke up yesterday feeling a tiny bit better. Tiny. It still felt like an exodus to get to the bathroom, I was still sounding like Darth Kittyn but I didn't feel so feverish and I was really hungry. Ate a fruit cup and took the first dosage of two pills. He woke up in the 2-3 area and he seemed genuinely better. There is hope, there is recovery at the end of this. I was ready to eat a small nation so I had a small chef salad instead and it was the best freakin' chef salad I have ever had. It stayed down and I was breathing easier thanks to the inhaler. Still not good though, when night came around it started to get to me again. I was able to sit up in this room for an hour or so to weed through 4364 accumulated email messages that were 98% spam.

And that brings me to today. He's back at work sounding a little deeper-voiced than usual but I'd say he's at 90% recovered. I'm a bit wooky from the pills and achy in the joints and still not breathing like I should be but I'd say I'm at 70-75% recovered. The time it's taken me to sit here and write this (one hour and 14 minutes) has taken a toll on me- my legs are hurting, my chest is hurting, the breathing is labored and I'm light headed. As soon as I hit publish I'll be going to sleep for a bit, I feel disgustingly weak and listless. Still have 3 more days of pills to take and I'm running 2-3 days behind him so I'm content to feel like this for now. I'm grateful to not feel like I did a few days ago even if this is no picnic.

The doctor was not kidding, this is an evil and intense flu. There's no fighting this flu and all you can do is feel miserable and wait for it to go away. I usually don't get flu shots and probably won't again this year but for those of you who do, get the damn flu shot! I wouldn't wish this flu on the skaggy bitch in pennsylvania and anyone who knows me knows there is no one in this world I loathe more than madame skag. I can't wait until I feel good again, I really want to go outside and walk around and breathe clearly. This was/is worse than the summer bronchitis, I'm used to bronchitis. This is a nasty flu that hits every orifice and everything internal that can cause pain or discomfort.

Stay healthy, people. Go eat some vitamin C and pray to the flu-Gods they don't come visit you. This one aint no joke, even if it's not whooping cough.

And that's it for me, I'm about ready to pass out and sleep on this dirty rug here. Thank you to the commenters who left their well-wishes, it really does help when you're that sick to hear from friends. I'll be back in the swing of life eventually when this goes away a little more, right now I just want to sleep.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep, Kittyn.

1. I know exactly what you are talking about.  Mom has this same thing going on right now herself.  Been trying to get her to go to the hospital or the doctor for a checkup but she seems convinced its just an allergy.  Hello, allergies dont make you sound like you have a lake in your lungs, like you are hacking up a lung and sick all the time with no energy.

   I am glad you are starting to feel better.  Definitely a nasty, vile strain of sickness, when people not susceptible to it start going down with it.  Make sure you keep drinking the liquids, and try to take a nice walk outside soon (weatherman says the cool weather is coming tonight).

    on  10/06  at  03:05 PM

2. Eek… That is one hell of a story. You know it’s bad when I considered (for a brief moment) pulling myself together for a flu shot. I’m glad you’re on the mend!!

    on  10/07  at  08:31 AM

3. Good to heaer you’re recovering.  Don’t forget the fluids.  You don’t want to add dehydration to the ailments.

   Take care of yourself.

    on  10/07  at  03:44 PM
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