Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Wooing 101

Gentlemen-

After a lengthy discussion tonight with a well-intentioned but way off track male friend, I am going to offer up the following suggestions. Of course not all females respond to things the same way so it's up to you but after listening to the bumblings of an otherwise confident and intelligent guy, it needs saying.

Yes, she does want to know if you are interested. This does not make you a stalker if you let her know you're into her. I'm not saying profess undying love or the best sex she's ever had on the first conversation but if you're interested, say something. Before someone else does and you're left with coulda woulda shoulda.

Life is too damn short to live ruled by fear of rejection by one person in a world full of people. I learned that if nothing else after 9/11. It may not be easy but if your life was to come to an unexpected end, did you take any risks to make it exciting? Rejection is a quickly passing humiliation, don't let it guide your choices. It won't kill you to familiarise yourself with some of things that she enjoys, hopefully she would want to do the same thing but for now since you're doing the wooing, you find out a few of the happy things for her and look into them.

People like to feel desirable, not just on the physical level. If she has a blog or a website, go there. Comment on it. If she likes to go to a certain place and she mentions it to you, chances are she won't mind if you show up. Let her know she's worth the effort of seeking out, of wooing and tell her why she interests you, why you wish to woo.

She should be more interested in your spirit and your soul than your wallet. If she asks how much you make or what your 'other' car is when you pick her up, cut your losses, take her to Burger King and move on.

Listen to her when she talks. Guaranteed she's saying things that may seem trivial but to her, two years from now when you're married with 2.5 kids and she's PMSing she'll remind you of what you didn't remember from two years ago and be horrified you could forget. Be wise, we call this preventive medicine. Don't just listen, hear her. Females remember dates.

Look her in the eyes when she talks to you. Suck it up, be brave. Eye contact is important.

Don't be what you're not. If you're a geek be a geek. If you're a freak be a freak. No point wooing on untruths or facades, it can only come back to bite you in the ass. If you can't afford filet mignon don't offer it, nothing wrong with a burger and fries. If you don't have a car don't borrow your buddy's to impress her.

Sex should not be the motivating factor for the want to woo (that's down the hall in the want to screw). She's a female, she can go out any time she wants and get laid if that's all she craves. If she has a brain, try stimulating that before you stimulate her body. Of course she wants to know you find her attractive and seductive and every bit the woman but wooings based on sex tend to burn out.

Be honest. If she scares you, tell her. If she's on your mind more than she should be, tell her. If you're fragile or broken or unsure, tell her. If you hate a certain colour or perfume or clothing style, tell her. You don't have to confess all your skeletons, we're only wooing here, but be honest about who and what you are. Besides, it feels that much better if you are and she still seems interested.

So there they are, my 10 guidelines for successful wooing. I wish my misguided friend the best of luck in his current state of woo and since Spring seems to be the mating season, may you all find someone to woo.

Woo ON!

1. You can’t go wrong remembering these points post-woo, either.

    on  05/25  at  10:55 AM
Page 1 of 1 pages

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Smileys

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?