WebKittyn Warbles

There are a lot of vile types of people in the world. Look around you, I'm pretty sure you'll run across a vile person or two real close to you. Vile comes in many varieties, it can be anything from the racist down the street to the peeping Tom peering in your window. There is no shortage of vile in the world today.

There is one sort of vile that gets me the most. The non-criminal sort of vile, kiddy diddlers get a special place in the vile hall. This is the sort of vile you deal with every day.

I'm talking about petunia pissers. Dream smashers and negative dwellers.

People who live to mock and put down and go after any step towards fulfilling a dream another person might take. It can be for any choice of reasons, maybe the person is unfulfilled in their own life and feeling trapped in what they've created and with no options of living dreams or maybe they're just rotten nasty asshats but whatever the root, the end result is the same.

I can't be like that. I've had many people come to me and share things they'd like to do that I may not get or agree with but shit, I'm going to support people. Great things come from ordinary people, look at Movable Type and Google and YouTube. Great things from ordinary people who have a dream or a vision and have the balls to stand up and chase it.

I'm not saying I'd encourage my 300+ pound girlfriend if she told me her dream was to get on next season's Top Model but when someone talks to me of writing a book or cutting a record or making a website into something I like that I can offer support and encouragement.

Too many people live to plant seeds of doubt in people's heads, make them think they're not good enough or incapable or just plain out delusional. They enjoy being able to take the wind out of the sails.

I encountered one such asshat tonight, his thing was to belittle the station. "Make-believe station" he called it. I kept my cool, I took it from where it came and decided it wasn't worth answering there but fuck me, don't tell me it's a make believe station.

I've always had this dream about being on talkradio. Ha ha, laugh at me, go ahead. I don't care. I've wanted this since I sat in Phil Boyce's office at WABC and laughed with him and learned from him. I've wanted this a long time. Most people know this, it's no secret. It's also something I never actively chased after, I got a look at the dark side of talkradio with Jay, Curtis and Steve and it was like politics. I can't do ugly, I can't do mean.

Technically there is nothing 'make believe' about the station. I realise I shouldn't expect anything more from a dipshit who sucked so bad he couldn't even do his own show and considers tweaking a template 'coding' but for the sake of accuracy I write this. It's as 'make believe' as Dave Navarro's station or Rob Zombie's station. There is nothing 'make believe' about something that pays the artists whose music is played, is accepted by ASCAP for membership regulations for unsigned artists, costs $200 a month to run and has revenue potential of up to $2500 before an upgrade is needed.

No, I don't think realistically that we're going to make $2500 a month or even get remotely close to Zombie or Navarro (although Dave Navarro is full of encouragement) but if it fails it will be because of ME, because I couldn't hook the right shows or snag enough listeners or put out enough PR. It will not be because it's a 'make believe' station. It was entered into as a hobby and potential business enhancer and guess what... I believe in miracles. I believe in good things happening to random ordinary people and I believe sometimes people walk away happy.

No, I'm not ready to market it to Jeff and Ian yet but that doesn't mean I don't have a plan. Right now the fucken station is two months old. It's a baby. We're already going over the monthly hours by a lot and the response I've been getting from unsigned bands and bands out of the US is insane. Emailing me asking if it's alright to send press kits and CDs. It's a start. For two months in it's a pretty fucken good one.

I've got amazing DJs, some of whom I'm only getting to know. They do their thing, I trust them and let them do what they do so I can work on the rest of it. So far the formula seems to be working.

This entry was unnecessary. I should believe in myself and the shit I sometimes make happen rather than let some loser who's going to go to his grave an unfulfilled nobody get to me but shoot me, I'm not purrfect. I know I don't need to justify or qualify myself or my station but here I am at 2 in the morning, prattling away.

Feh.

Maybe it won't work, the odds aren't in my favour. Screw it. If it doesn't work it's still going to be a lot of fun doing it and I've already made a few nifty connections. Not every adventure has to be a crowning victory, I'm in this one now and I'm enjoying it. Maybe it will. That's the beauty of it all and what I learned from 9/11. If you don't stand up and take the risk you can die in an instant and go to the grave with a legacy of 'what if' or 'shoulda woulda coulda' and that's not what I want. Risk is there to be taken and failure and/or rejection is what you make of it, not the actual end of the world.

As for the petunia pissers, this only strengthens my resolution to never be one. No never spew random negativity at someone who is bold enough to consider chasing a rainbow. Let all the petunia pissers in the world curl up and rot, they serve about as much purpose in life as ticks.

Make believe. Hey fucktard, I got your make believe right here.



My petunias. Back the fuck off.