WebKittyn Warbles

While my father has been sick I've seen some amazing gestures of kindness and concern by various people, both from my end and my mother's. I'm always surprised and touched by acts of kindness and at the same time tremendously saddened by acts of cruelty. Man's capability to be so good and so cruel boggles me.

Tonight someone said the cruelest thing to me I have ever heard. It would have been heartless to begin with but to say it while my father is literally fighting for his life makes it all that much worse.

I'm not going to get into what was said, people read this thing and would make the connection and I don't want to talk about it. I'm still shaking, I'm still stunned, I'm still in shock that there can exist such cruelty in a world that also breeds such kindness.

Someone said to me tonight that life doesn't give us more than we can carry. I disagree. I'm carrying my dad being the way he is. I'm carrying helping my mother get through the hardest time in her life. I'm carrying planning a move I've wanted but not under these conditions. Now I'm supposed to be able to carry random cruelty from a friend and another change that alters everything? I'm not that strong, I can't carry all of this.

I was doing the best I could and I was doing pretty well. I really was. Now I'm hurt in a way I don't think will ever heal.

Why are people cruel for sport? Why are people stupid and worry about the wrong shit?

The facade will continue. I will continue to be there for my mother and only the cats will see the breakdowns. I'm not so sure about turning to people anymore, not when the potential is there for cruelty.

I've had a lot of crap thrown my way, a lot of people aren't fond of me. This was by far the cruelest thing by a long shot.

Why are people like that.